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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192043">My Love, My Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoganBlu/pseuds/LoganBlu'>LoganBlu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cancer, Guns, Logan can't do death, Logan's dead, M/M, Patton's dad is dead, Patton's dead, Suicide, not sorry, sorry - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:49:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24192043</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoganBlu/pseuds/LoganBlu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Patton Foster has been fighting cancer for a couple months now, but the poor man couldn't make it. </p><p>Logan's response?<br/>Well,,<br/>not good.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>My Love, My Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm sorry</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Author's Note: So hey, another one based off of a Roleplay. This one is angsty so lemme read it and I'll do some warnings</p><p>TRIGGER WARNINGS, although let's be honest if you are reading my shit it is one big trigger warning and if you cant stand that *points to the figurative door*: Cancer, death, Logan being a sad bitch, guns (and ships), suicide. HAVE FUN.</p><p>Logan was curled up on the hospital bed, holding Patton's hand tightly. His eyes were closed as if he was asleep, but he definitely wasn't. The circles under his eyes were almost as dark as Virgil's eye shadow. Logan hadn't truly slept in days, and he was absolutely exhausted. But he had to stay awake for Patton. Now that he thought about it, he hadn't slept a full night since Patton was diagnosed with Leukemia. He was stage four now, which meant Logan was already stressed which also meant he was always awake. </p><p>He was actually close to drifting off when Patton stiffened beside him, face paling. The heart monitor was going crazy as he jerked around. Logan yelled for a nurse, holding Patton down to the bed. </p><p>"Patton! Stay with me!" He shouted, tears spilling out of his eyes and down his face.</p><p>The monitor flat-lined, the droning noise all Logan could here as he watched the life drain out of his lover's eyes.  Patton's final breath whooshed out of his lungs and made Logan's bangs move. </p><p>"PATTON!" Logan screamed, stiffening and pulling against the nurses who were trying to pull him out of the room and away from his now dead boyfriend. </p><p>Virgil ran into the room and wrapped his arms around Logan in what would be a bear hug if Virgil wasn't shorter than Logan by a lot. He squeezes a bit and pulls him out into the hall.</p><p>"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Logan screeched, fighting against Virgil's iron grip and trying to get back to the room.</p><p>"Lo, you gotta calm down." Virgil whispers, sniffling a bit himself.</p><p>At that, Logan just goes limp like a freshly made spaghetti noodle. He's done fighting. Virgil grunts under the sudden weight, just holding Logan there. He sobs into Virgil's shoulder, the sounds so incredibly sad and heartbroken at the same time. </p><p>Virgil just rubs his back, "Logan, it's going to be okay." </p><p>Logan shakes his head and only sobs harder, "H-he's gone." Only a moment later a nurse walks out of Patton's room. Logan looks at her with a bit of hope in his eyes. It evaporates in a second as she only shakes her head. He lets out another heart wrenching sob and goes back to ruining Virgil's shirt. Virgil only sighs and slowly sinks to the floor. Logan leans against the wall, "I-I'm never going to see his smile again, V. What am I g-going to do?"</p><p>Virgil hugs him tightly, "Just keep living for now, Lo."</p><p>Logan nods, just laying in Virgil's arms. He shuts his eyes, sleeping for the first time in forever.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Fast forward about a week to Patton's funeral. It was held on a bright and sunny day, the exact opposite of how Logan felt. He sat through the long and annoyingly religious service, getting a few annoyed looks as he bounced his foot or tapped the pew. But Logan brushed it off. He had gone numb to the world. He stumbled through the speech he was expected to prepare and perform. Public speaking was not his forte. Logan helped carry the coffin and was the second to throw a handful of dirt into the hole. Patton was buried near his father on top of a small hill. Logan sat at the grave until Roman and Virgil came to pick him up to go home. </p><p>Fast forward a year. One year since Patton died. One full, motherfucking year Logan had to go through without his love. His life had screeched to a halt as he was buried under depression. Virgil and Roman had their own lives but they tried to keep Logan going, tried to give him a reason to keep living. As much as they tried, Logan saw nothing desirable in the world. </p><p>So on the anniversary Logan found himself on top of the hill, pacing in front of Patton's grave.</p><p>"I do not know what you want me to do, love. I cannot stay here. I see no good in this place out of here, and Roman and Virgil do not need to constantly burden themselves with me." Logan pauses to wipe a tear. "I am coming home, doll. I am coming back to you. It is the only option." He watched the white flowers planted over Patton's grave flutter in a breeze. He removes the gun from his bag and clicks off safety, putting it against his head. "I love you Patton. I will see you soon."</p><p>Bang </p><p>Virgil was waiting at the bottom of the hill sitting shotgun in Roman's truck. The radio was quietly playing a My Chemical Romance song (Cancer, just for the irony) when he heard the gunshot. His heart rate spiked immediately and he looked over at Roman.</p><p>"Did you hear that?" Virgil sits up.</p><p>"Yeah- was that-"</p><p>"No, he would never be that stupid." </p><p>They both share a look and get out of the car, running up the hill. Roman had 911 on call as they weaved their way through the graves and stumbled to a halt as they take in the scene.</p><p>It was almost like a movie. The setting sun gave everything a golden glow and the grass moved in the wind. Virgil saw the gun first, then the white flowers stained red. He let out a sob as his eyes finally landed on Logan's bloodied body. Virgil kneeled down and felt for a pulse, but found nothing. </p><p>Logan was dead.</p>
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